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Here it Goes Again…

Mirror mirror on the wall can you tell me, whose that person in your front?

There are really moments in our lives that seems to be a cycle. One day you’re alright and next day you’re not.

Looking on the mirror shows the reflection of our physical appearance. But how can we look upon our deep souls, our innerselves? Do inventors invent some mirror that can thoroughly see and define the inside state of ourselves? Do we have an application on our phones that can thoroughly assess and compute the graph within what was happening to us? I guess there’s none.

Many people are saying a person like me is likely a hypocrite. Faking things that I do and wearing the masks I used to wear to cover what’s really inside me. That I am just seeking for attention. But for me, I know everything that I do and show was all true and that the view by which they’re seeing is just a wrong perspective.

At first, it was all really hard for me to absorb all of those aforementioned. There are moments that I just neglect and shake what they’ve said but most of the times, it remains. And suddenly leads me into confusion.

Questions that I keep on asking.

“Who am I?”… “Did I do something wrong again?”… “Did I hurt them?”…. “Is there really something wrong that I did?”… “What should I do?”… “What will I do?” “Why do I feel emptied and seems that there’s a big hole inside me?”….

And many questions that I use to ask when I am all alone in the bathroom. While slowly undressing myself…

It was also the moment that I slowly giving up and having my breakdowns, when no one is watching, when no one can hear, when no one is there, but me.

To tell you honestly, it is hard for me having a mind like this. It was really hard for me to become like this.

Sometimes I do feel like not opening it up to someone because everything seems to be in repetition. That history is just merely repeating itself.

I know all the answers on my own questions, yet it was to dull for me to grasp all of those answers.

“Sometimes, I just really wanted to give up on myself.”

But whenever I’m about to give up, there’s a small voice inside me that keep on reminding me that I AM LOVED and FOREVER WILL BE LOVED.

That voice is the God whom created me and knows everything about me.

That he knows what he is doing, he is aware of what was happening and just keep on processing me.

In the end, after being enlightened by Him, and when I look again on the mirror, I know that I am His.

Someday, I’m still praying that someday somehow I never ever be like this anymore and holding to His promises that..

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Revelation 21:4 NLT

To you beloved,

Never give up. Always believe that greater things is coming and better days are also coming. Never faint. Always trust, and remind yourself WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST.

You are loved

and

forever loved.

Heavenly Father as I come to you, may you be the one to move in the lives your beloved ones. May you remind them that they are valuable in your sight and their are forever loved. Lord Jesus, I pray that whenever they are confuse may you show yourself on them and fill everything inside them. I thank you for everything and I lift their lives to you in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

To God be all the Glory!

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